“It seems to me that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love, and, like love, grief is non-negotiable.”
— Nick Cave
Right now, your world has gone dark. You’re grieving the loss of your beautiful friend. I know you’d rather be holding them again than reading these words.
If we were together in person, I would make you a cup of tea and invite you to sit with me. If you let me, I would hold your hand. I would look in your eyes while you told me all about your soulmate. About their personality, their quirks. Your daily rituals and rhythms together.
I would sit with you, and I would listen. For as long as you needed. During this heartbreaking time, I would give you space to be seen and heard and understood. I would bear witness to the love and grief too big for your body to contain.
I cannot take away your pain. I cannot restore your loved one. There are no words, no gestures, that can make this better.
You never wanted to say goodbye.
I’m truly sorry you’re going through this.
You may be in shock. You may be unable to stop crying. You may be full of rage, or guilt, or panic that’s so intense you could almost levitate. You may even be numb from sheer overwhelm and exhaustion. Whatever is happening, whatever you’re feeling, is valid.
Here, you don’t have to hold back. You don’t have to hide or dismiss your grief, or make it tidy, quiet, or socially acceptable. You can show up as you are.
Grief, in all of its forms, is a testament to the strength of your bond and the love you both share. It’s proof you invested your whole heart.
May you see something on A Touch of Moxy that resonates with you, that feels true, and that ultimately points you toward the light. May you continue to breathe through your grief, to hold it close, only to find the love and presence of your dear one inside your own heart.
“My grief says that I dared to love, that I allowed another to enter the very core of my being and find a home in my heart. Grief is akin to praise; it is how the soul recounts the depth to which someone has touched our lives. To love is to accept the rites of grief.”
— Francis Weller
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